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December 25 IntolerenceI don't want to be hostile. I don't want to be dismal. But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either. See I want to believe you, and I want to trust and I want to have faith to put away the dagger. But you lie, cheat, and steal. And yet I tolerate you. Our guilt, our blame, I've been far too sympathetic. Our blood, our fault. I've been far too sympathetic. I am not innocent. You are not innocent. No one is innocent. I will no longer tolerate you Even if I must go down beside you. Because, No one is innocent. TOOL - INTOLERANCE December 21 Careless and forgetful me粗心大意的我。健忘的我。。。犯贱的我。。。自讨没趣的我。单方面的我。。。很多面的我。自作孽的我。自作多情的我。那么多个的我。怎么没一个看起来顺眼的我？ 过敏你消失的一百天 我没了笑脸怕别人看见 我敏感的神经线 一点一点没知觉 泛红双眼不成眠 它跟着我一整夜 麻痹的脸特效药也无解 才发现我正搁浅在爱情过敏的季节 oh过敏源是对你的思念 我想我才了解 我正停格在爱情过敏的季节 季节没改变是想念没断线 我想我才发现 感情尘蹒已布满了我的世界 oh过敏源是为你流的泪 我想我才了解 就算用尽了力气也未必如愿 季节没改变是眼泪弄湿脸 季节一直变 但我的心没有变 你消失的一百天 我没了笑脸没知觉 October 04 ...People nowadays are just utterly disappointing... which is kind of sad... sorry... not able to fulfill the promise made to u... September 26 a new beginning yet reminiscingI wanna be stronger. More sensible. More understanding. More thoughtful. Less caring. More skillful. More talented. More independant. Less worried about friends and ppl i care. More trust and faith. More exercise. More job. all for me and my loved ones. September 05 sorry...They are the greatest and powerful. I s*ck... i am the asshole and f*cker. sorry...
Hope i will be forgiven. August 20 ...sorry that i have given you so much trouble. i know i have not been very good lately. it's MY problem. i have to admit it. but the reason is clear. But i will try to change the fact of me trying to be like that. . . . . . i talked to my mother about it... and kind of understand something...yah... ...I felt terrible... really terrible... in fact i never felt any worse... will i ever be able to believe in anyone anymore... ... i reallly don;t know... F*ck...
I hate you... I f*cking hate you... Why does things have to change.... why do i have to know about all these... why can't i go back to the happy past that we had... ... why am i so persistent? why do i care so much bout someone? where's the inconsiderate side of me? where's the clear-minded me??? I don't want you to know... i knew i would feel worse. y'all should know i care... Why can't i even let go?
Why are you still a trouble? why i'm not even close to understanding? Why am i hurt? and Why do i CARE?
I know why i care...
Isn't it what that's important?
But does it feel more hurt?
It's bouncing back on me?
I could almost feel it. The feeling is so strong.
it's almost like a blade.
But i can't even bleed.
It's because i believe.
It's because i care.
It's because i love.
But it's bacause of these...
I don't mind about what happened... maybe i felt cheated.
Why do i even have to love someone so much... only to get hurt...
I know i love you.
maybe i should say it's a complete understatement.
Cause it never felt so strong.
maybe i'm stubborn... maybe i'm bad.
maybe i'm silly? maybe i'm scared......
WHY DO I HAVE TO KNOW ALL THESE!!!?????! WHY DO I HAVE TO KNOW??!?!?
I NEED a channel to let out my anguish and bury my sorrow..
. April 04 AOSWrecently really broke... but money is not spend on books, figurines and comics unlike the usual times. It's spend on other stuffs like transport food, etc etc... sigh... so useless, open wallet no money... but its worth it bah...
haiz... am i realy that irritating? i dunno... went to star wars exhibition yesterday. and got interview and was posted on www.starwars.sg. haha so stupid... got me and junyan's photos somemore... LMAO man...
bought the deluxe package which costs $85... haha... taken some picture which i put under photos.... hmm... but it was worth it la...the money... too bad i only stayed there for like 4 hours plus... and yet i didnt get to see everything... sigh... alrite.... enough saying... here are some of the pics... April 01 ...i hope i wouldn't be punished for all i have done... i know i am a sinner.... i really wish i will be forgiven... i really dun mean to. and if i could choose i wouldn't want to think all those rubbish at the wrong place... so i hope i will be forgiven... sorry... im really sorry. March 28 sighi dunno why there are bastards almost everywhere around the globe. im considered of of them. decided to try something different from wad i have been doing for a change. maybe its inevitable. finally the verge is out... haha. need to pay teo hong asap. March 24 SighI'm beginning to think that i've made a very wrong decision. sigh, i seriously think that something is very wrong with me. i dunno why. perhaps im really a failure in this field. i dunno what is to be done. what can be done and what i will become. But all i know is i will do something to my lfe. screw it back. i can say that i realised alot of things but some things that are gone might never come back. March 21 arghhhhhsigh... life is tough...... it gets out of hands totally when more people are involved. i seriously dunch know what to do..... i starting to lose confidence in myself once more.... arghhhhhhhh. i'm afraid twice the pride, double the fall. and when i fall i fall hard. am beginning to start exercising again. hurt my little left thumb just yesterday. and now it still hurts... could hardly exert any force with it... sigh. really troublesome... and i seriously hope that everything will turn out fine for me. and everyone wouldn't think too much. and i hope that i will become more focus once more... February 27 .long time no blog. being busy with studio project for the past week. two more to go. guess it's sort of better after i terminate my internet. so many things that's bothering me now. health, people and all those lame shits. February 08 .:( I'm screwed. sigh. tired. tired. tired. using school com for internet. got to go off already. hanlin and wendy is rushing me. January 30 .first of all. wish everyone reading this a very happy lunar new year. lots of red pockets for everyone.
my new year wish is definitely good health.
Recently i realised that i still can't get over something that's in me a long long time ago. I don't now what to say about it. perhaps i should say i haven't felt like this for a very long time. i have been acting strangely in front of this person. and it just felt kind of weird...... no idea how to explain this... some of you might know what i'm referring to...
life is miserable. been sick every now and then. yesterday can't sleep til 5am. it really felt terrible. i should have slept earlier yesterday...
went to sentosa today after so long. should have brought my cameraalong next time.
found out alot of things recently... some better left unsaid. some better left unknown. i guess i should indulge myself into things that will drain myself. i can't take it.
didn't get a chance to gather with my maternal relatives coz my grandpa passed on. hope everyone is doing good.
lots of things are taking it's toll on me... i guess i just got to learn not to get easily affected. all for my easily stressed up body... it's like out of my control though....
and to my internet connection and my old com that has been there with me for a very long time, farewell...
January 26 .arghhh. drawing assignments!!!.
had a good chat with chris mayernik. he's a great artist from US. talking to him enlightens me.
he talked about andrew loomis and craig mullins. who are some of the artist he adore. he tell me to spend one year to get the foundations right. and stuffs. i think i'll probably need 10 yrs to get my foundations right if he need 1 yr. haha. and ya. things ain't going too well for him. hope everything will eventually turn out good. and get well soon. January 25 .updates
-for the first time. so happy about it.
-feeling so sick this week AGAIN.
-Tired.
-finally submitted 3d.
-got ALOT, yes, i mean ALOT of work to do. especially drawing. but luckily we don't need to draw the silhouettes for the creature. WOO HOO~
-new year is coming. spending time doing ma homework.
-need to learn to sleep early AGAIN.
-need to practise more, more, MORE.
-I'm free~ |
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